Snow-maggedon, my ass
If you call a winter storm Snow-maggedon, there had better be 5 feet of snow in two hours, with people buried alive in their cars, with monsters rising up from the sheets of white, with loved ones becoming murderous fiends in the insanity of the never-ending snow.
I don’t want 10cms. 10cms is lame. 10cms is called flurries.
Schools have been shut down.
Police are advising people to stay home.
Flights can be rebooked free of charge.
Viarail is predicting wait times.
And it’s all a joke. All because some guy at Environment Canada has been waiting to use his special word. Snow-maggedon. How long has he been sitting on that word, waiting to unleash it? Did he hear that word from a fellow lies-network anchor down in the States? Did it come to him one feverish night while drinking too much absinthe while on his back porch?
But it’s been a powerful word because everyone is freaking out.
However, if anyone has unearthed a crazed snow-tribe, or butchered their former hair dressers out of sheer madness…I will take it all back.
Until that time: Today’s Weather…flurries. Expect 10-15cms of snow.
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